It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
