My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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