I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
