I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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