So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You ate ashes out of my bong
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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