fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
just come out here and I will go home with you...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Randomize
