i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
