If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
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