i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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