I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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