I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
