It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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