she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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