About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
