My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
