Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I love you.
Bad choice
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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