adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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