we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
