dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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