To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
