There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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