They should really pass out barf bags in church
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
