even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
