just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
