I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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