whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The uberlube is also flammable
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just had sex on a roof
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
