READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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