It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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