I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
