His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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