drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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