all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
