i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
