Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
