with your own penis?
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
