Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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