HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
tonight lets celebrate not being married
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
