Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
