Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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