How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
