Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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