I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
