I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
