I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
