He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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