When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
