How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
