brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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