We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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