He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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