Midget sex pt 2 tonight
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
