do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
