Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
